bootdoo.

mommy is moving away from daddy. But we LOVE you.

mommy is moving in with you (half of the week) to gramma and papas house.

you will see daddy still, all the time.

mommy is getting a part time job.

and is getting help from the government, with programs i have long since paid taxes into.

and mommy is going to school.

its going to be hard baby.

but you will never know poverty. i promise im doing this FOR you.

mommy's biological mommy and daddy didnt make a college fund for me. and i want that for you. i dont want you to have to worry so much.

you are my WORLD. and even though its hard and mommy and daddy dont sleep in the same bed, and we are moving into another house, we are okay. i promise, if it gets tougher i will go back to work but i want this for us.

i want to make life better.

maybe one day mommy and daddy will get back together.

but right now, we have to focus on YOU and then us as people before we can be us as a couple. and you will never know less love.

i promise you the WORLD.

my golly you are my soul mate.

btw, mommy got an A on her second final, and is getting an A in the class. i wanted so badly to tell you!

loves.

nothing....

in this whole world makes me happier than when i put you down for sleep and i say "i love you julian" when you say "i love you" back to me.

you are precious to me.

i am so blessed that we have such a great relationship.

you are wonderful and amazing and i am smitten with you babe.

words all over!

you say Mommy and daddy, carrie and Cookie (thats what you call clifton), Dan and Ayya, Stott and Keemy, Gramma. You say "im hungry" and "downstairs please?" in the mornings. you even say Bingno! for mr bingo. how sweet. :] youre precious and i love you.

more to come!

i love you handsome.

:]

i just love you.

today you hung out with daddy at grandma kittys house.

you played in the water.

and when you saw me, as i came to see you for a moment, you came to me and wanted a hug. and it felt wonderful.

i love you SO much bubbas.

portland coffee shop.

as i sit here procrastinating from doing my homework, i see a little boy about your age running around from his mom. and it makes me think of you.

i miss you.

so much.

i hope you can tell how much i love you.

in addition to that, the best thing happened today.

momma was havign a "i dont feel so pretty' day today. i felt icky and sad and just out of sorts. when i got ready to go earlier today you came into the bathroom to see me and saw me and said "oooohhhhhh whoaaaaa, prettyyyy." it made my YEAR.

i love you and i feel like a million bucks that you think i am pretty baby :]

18 month checkup...

i forgot to mention.

you are growing steadily.

24lbs 1oz 25th percentile for weight

32 inches long and 50th percentile for height

and 47cm head...but we have lowered to the 75th percentile for head :]

you are beautiful any which way love.

just some pics.

golly you are so handsome.
those eyes get me every time :]
little boy!
before we left the hospital.

i love you. perfection in 7#5oz.

you're beautiful!

now for your favorite.

(this photo makes me happy. it was just this past week. we were watching a movie for an unofficial sleepover, the three of us, and it was late. i was pretending you were a tiny tiny baby and i swaddled you real tight like babies like, and i held you close swaddled in a big blanket. within 3 minutes you were sleeping. it reminded me of when you were so tiny. i love you so much and i love that memory. thank you.)

te gusta dormir.

you like it A LOT.

and from one sillylittle folder, i found all of this.

and i smile when i see these. there are many more...but here is a glimpse of you doing what you enjoy :] (you also got this from daddy...you can tell in the fact it is 3am, mommy has class in the morning and she is uploading pictures onto a blog you wont read for years :]regardless here they are :] ).

mommy made you that blanket. just sayin :]


i a SO happy that you are okay. thank you for fightin it out bubs.