mommy therapy.

as the weeks go on, it gets more taxing. work that is.

thinking of the stress that goes on there, and how the most precious little boy is at home...makes me forget sometimes why i choose to be there instead of here. this week in particular. its been SO hard to not just walk away from it.
i love the idea of my job, but lately the actual job itself has become so hard mentally.

i desperately wanted to take saturday off with Beau to have a date day, all day. but alas, there isnt the option of a day off for another week.

sigh.

so the initial idea is that i would just relax ALL DAY, save for judes shot appt at 11:15...or so i thought.
i woke at 1000 and jude and cuddled for awhile...however, i was wrong. my appt was at 1030..argh. had to reschedule...thats all right. we'll play hooky from vaccinations and just relax for today...wrong again.

i got the hair up my butt to tidy up...a small amount. im not a clean person by any means, but i wiped down the counters, threw a load in the washer and decided we needed some supplies and i think ill go to the store. running "mommy" errands makes me feel so good inside. and it bring meaning to my job.
that job enables me to be a good mommy financially. lets face it...its a job that is hard on every single level, and the company knows it, thats why they pay 5$ above minimum wage to people without a college education.

im paid well for my time, and the good news is they cover quite a lot of counseling sessions through insurance too. the job pretty much drives me into therapy :] thats a fib, it drives me to mommy therapy.

im going to cuddle a bit with my boy, we are watching a basketball episode of sesame street (i think its funny how you can seriously get annoyed by elmo...until you have a kid who loves him...and then you love him and all his muppety monster friends).

so sesame street and cuddles, then maybe a trip to winco for some veggies we need; maybe ill crockpot a dinner for tonight.
then to the dollar store because i love it, (:]) grab some other necessities from target, hit up a thrift store or something, come back from our day and put jude down for a nap : ]

i love being a mother.

ernie is on....im going to watch that cute chubby little bugger entertain my baby boy.


mommy therapy is MUCH cheaper and MUCH more satisfying than a real therapist : ] besides, its acceptable for me to cuddle with jude, not so much with a counselor : ]

baby boy.

you have found your voice, and are screaming for fun, for attention, for everything.

but in all this, you are learning.

today nanny was sick, and we had miss April and mister Justin watch you. you spent the day with miss Juliet and i hear you were a good boy : ]

i'm so happy you are growing up so wonderful.


today mommy had a bad day at work...and you got me through it.


i love you baby.


i do it all for you.

Josie Duggar

http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/2579923/19th_duggar_baby_josie_duggar_a_month.html

my goodness.

the strength that must surround this family.
being in the media makes people scrutinize. and now they are dealing with the emotional battle of nearly losing a child.

we are praying for them Jude. i am SO blessed that God took care of you while you were in my tummy, and kept you in there until you were healthy.

i want you to learn, Julian, that a good parent is defined by how they raise, and love their child. The decisions they make, the actions they take.
a parent isn't just an adult who raises, or births a child.
a parent is the one that cares for and loves a child.
it does not matter how many children a person or persons has as long as they
are good parents.
we shouldn't judge honey. our life is our life; theirs is theirs.

we also should make sure that we are doing what we can for others.

its also important to wash your hands and make sure that we don't spread germs, because germs can make people and little babies sick.


i love you so much bubba. and we will be praying for miss Josie and her large loving family.

God is Good.

judebug...

momma hopes these teeth go easy on you. last night was rough. you cried and cried. im sorry that momma and daddy got frustrated.
but we want you to feel better.
i love you so much bubba.

im so happy that you get lots of time with momma, daddy and nanny when we get our new shifts. im sad you wont get time very much with momma and daddy together at the same time for a few months. but baby, you'll get every night with us, and this shift is only temporary.

we are so in love with you.
you are our light, our joy.
you have the most loving house, and nanny and momma and daddy love you.

the blessed ones are us; we couldnt imagine anything better than this.

we talked about making you a big brother next year; we really want to just enjoy you alone for a little bit longer and then experience the joy of having another one.
you are going to make a wonderful brother.
i love you baby boy.


my lifes joy is to make you so happy.

sleeepy baby.

i love watching you sleep.
cuddling as you sleep.
holding you as you sleep. right now im jealous of daddy for getting your sleep cuddles.
we went to kroc and you played with new friends.
then we went to subway and had yum yums.
now we are all exhausted.
i love every day with you baby boy.
:]
momma is getting healthy. did you know since you were born i have lost 77 lbs?
i am getting healthy for you. i want you to be proud of me. as much as i am of you.
i am so happy for all that you have turned into and all that we are working on.
almost 13 months old and now 20.7 lbs!
ahhh! thats 13 lbs more than when you were born! big boy.
so happy for you : ]


i love every ounce of that : ]

poor boy..

while the doctors gave your ears a pain-free bill of health, it was suggested that more teeth are coming into our lives. you have 8, and the last 6 came in all at once, and that was an experience.

i long to take away every moment of your pain, but since i cant, i find myself just being happy you are resilient and strong. i love you baby boy.

:]


you are fabulous son.

random

another day...another ear.

it doesnt seem to stop for you bubbas.

about 2 weeks after stopping the antibiotics, mom, dad and nanny are sure yu've got another ear infection. doctor on tuesday. we have to nip this in the bud.

you are so precious to me. just seeing you every day makes my heart happy.

i go to work every day for you.
you are our life our happiness.

momma got some really good videos on her phone (that you love to play with) of you and daddy playing last night and you having the time of your life : ]

i love you; hearing you laugh is the sweetest sound to my ears!

i thank God for you, every day.
i know you are my reason for being here. you are going to be great, do great things.
you inspire me, and motivate me. thank you!


yuv you!

love watching you.

as i type this you are entertaining yourself with toys, talking away. and watching the blazer game simultaneously.

i taught you "nose goes".


i LOVE watching you, listening to you, being your mommy.

nothing better in this world for me baby.

my baby.

I love taking you to your crib. You're getting big, but stil holding you

makes you feel so tiny in my arms. I love you more every day.

I talked to you in my arms right before I laid you down. You'll always be my little boy. I love giving you nose kisses. Even when you're sleeping. You're so precious to me.


Sleep sweet bubba.


All my nose kisses are for you.
Love, momma.

you sleep

And I'm blessed. These cuddles are amazing.


Love you bubbas.

its a good day...

and always a good day to be your mum. but it was exciting!

i woke up this morning to you crying in your crib early, so i put you in bed with me and daddy.

at about 730, right before my last alarm went off for work i hear you say "hi momma".

it made me do an audio double take.

im so proud of you. you wouldnt say it again, so i just smiled and said "hi baby". you then smiled and started hitting daddy to wake up.

during work i called nanny to check on you, and she told me that you started saying Please without being told!!! sign language, rubbing your chest and she would give you bites. you started to do it right when i got home asking me for some bites!!! i was SO proud i nearly started crying!

a little later daddy and i were trying to get you to walk. you walked 6 or more steps to daddy and said "Da da DA!!!" as you walked towards him!


how proud i am! you are talking in jibberish and you think you're talking. i know you are...i just can hardly wait to understand all the things you are saying!


i love you baby boy. excited for time off with you for my weekend : ]

i love you JudeBaby.

bubbas...

you are still feeling icky.

as i type this you are lying on the ground and sleeping more :(

poor baby.

i love you sugar.

i hopes you feel better soon.
im awful proud of you.

p.s.

im falling more in love with your daddy. :]

judebug!

you are getting so much better at saying please. mommys friend momma j today told me how much ill love it when yoiu say words.

sometimes it feels as though youll be 15 and not walking, just saying "whats that?"

you are babbling a lot more.
Momma A will be bringing Juliet over more so that you can have play dates. you are great at sharing food...we need to work on toy sharing. although last time she was here you used a brush to "brush" your hair and then you "brushed" hers too. :]

you are such a kind boy.

take all the time you need baby.

mommy is just so glad you are here, healthy and loving. :]

so blessed

it doesnt fall unnoticed upon me that i am blessed baby, as are you.
see so many wonderful women raise wonderful children as a single mom.
i have so much help. wonderful daddy for you, a great nanny, and wonderful family and friends.

i wouldnt love you less without them, but i acknowledge my abilities to parent coincide with their help. we will always be thankful for their presence.


i love you bubba. poor ear fections. im gonna cuddles you good : ]

my handsome...

its 2010.
holy moly.

2009 was THE BEST year of my life.

now while 2008 was the year that mom and daddy decided to have you and we finally met you, growing with you in 2009 was so much to me. it would definitely be accurate to say that each year i'm with you is the BEST year. we love you SO much.

we are very excited to have you growing and getting smarter. daddy and i talked last night about when we wanted to make you a big brother, and when we wanted to get married.
while there aren't any specific dates, we have decided that next year in 2011 we will try to make you a little baby brother or sister. and one day we will get married. but marrying daddy wont change what we already have.
our life is so perfect.
i can hardly wait to expand our little family.

daddy and i are thinking of what to do with our lives. we want careers. we want jobs that will stay with us and keep our family happy and safe.

what should mommy and daddy do?

EMT? Writer? Photographer? Teacher? DayCare? Juvenile corrections?

i don't know sweets, but i am going to make you proud. both of us are. you are the number one thing in our lives : ]

mommy and daddy and nanny are going to be looking for a new house. with 2 bedrooms and a basement for nanny so she can have her own studio apartment. or a nice huge downtown apartment.

one day we'll have a big house. with big rooms, big porches to keep you safe, and a big dog. i'm feeling complete and content love, but am so anxious for all the things we will experience with you!

you have another ear infection bubbas. but you are loving cuddles. its strange, when you feel icky you dont sleep well. doctor says that your ears are puffy and causing pain when you lay down, so youve been falling asleep sitting up. you've been skipping naps, and when you are sleeping, you crawl around in your sleep whimpering. we let you sleep with us since you are sick, and i worry you'll crawl right off the bed...its happened you silly boy.
you are cuddled next to me as i type this. you are so precious to me.

you arent venturing out more in the walking department. your first steps happened on 12.20.2009 and you dont try much. it'll come. im not worried. its not that you CANT its just that you dont WANT to. :]

you LOVE to play "containers". today i put a whole bevy of mixing bowls on the floor for you and got out your toy balls and you just had so much fun putting the toys into the bowls. so smart!

yesterday i taught you that Monkeys say Oo Oo Oo Ah Ah Ah and when i tell you to do it you say ah ah ah ah. its SO cute.

you clap when people on tv clap, you are great at raising your arms for touchdown, especially when daddy freaks out at the tv about touchdowns.
you still do "singing" where when we say "singing" you sing! Ya ya Ya ya Ya ya. :] makes me happy. you are musical! you dance to everything! and you love to bang on dishes and bowls. you have drumstick mixing spoons someone bought for christmas with drumstick handles, and you have mommys rhythm! did you know i can play the drums/ i taught myself, and maybe when you're older we will see what musical instruments you like to play. you LOVE daddy's guitars and you LOVE playing the plano that momma has.

how wonderful it is to know you love music, the thing that brought mommy and daddy together!

goodness i am so lucky to have you here honey.

one of the pictures i will upload here in a bit is of the quilt momma's momma
i so much wanted your baby clothes and a blanket made into a quilt for me, so i could always have you with me. and its PERFECT. your blankets are the pieces on the outside and Gramma picked 4 of the onesies that you wore to put on the front. one says i love mommy and one says i love daddy. i LOVE my blanket.
and cuddles under it with you are the best! specially when you are sick, its nice to cuddles with you under our blankie.

handsome boy, im so excited for a year of wonderful things. how blessed we all out to have our family!