dear julian..
there is a meaning to life that we all search to find.
its different for everybody.
for some its family. for some its the career you choose. for some its money for some its religion. for some its just living the life you were born into.
let me tell you what it is for me. the part of me i hope to impart on you.
its about others.
its about making sure other people feel happiness.
thats why we will have a tradition.
every christmas, right around your birthday
we will make the world a little better for other kids who dont have what i will daily strive for you...complete happiness, warmth of family and love.
we will do toys for tots.
we will do meals for the unfortunate.
maybe donate to the union gospel mission.
we will do the giving tree.
and we will do giving things for no reason...be it christmas...or st patricks day...or just a thursday.
i want you to know that we have a fortunate life.
mom and dad will ALWAYS work hard so you have everything you need.
this doesnt always mean everything you want, but we will always work hard for you.
and other people, they dont always have that Jude.
they really dont.
its up to people who have good lives like us to help others smile and eat and love and live.
sometimes other people need love and happiness too, and have no one to give it to them.
there are kids with no parents...wives with no husbands...ladies and gentlemans raising kids by themselves....babies with no families...people with no homes.
i promise you i will do everything in my power to bring a smile to your face, to bring happiness to you. and we should do the same for others.
here are today's life lessons. i hope you learn them baby boy:
when you go out to lunch and have leftovers that you will probably throw away, find a bum and give it to them instead.
when you get new clothes...there are so many places who gives clothes to the needy...give your old clothes to them so they can be warm.
when you are done with your old magazines or dvds...send them to a soldier stationed overseas.
dont talk badly about the president....while they may not know all the answers, they do what they think is best. be supportive. if there is something you believe in that needs to be done and isnt...stand up for it and change the world yourself.
Dont talk bad about other people...if you do...you are no better than than they who you think are wrong.
God is ALWAYS there for you; find your own way with him.
what mom and dad and the rest of the world believe are OUR personal relationships with Him. find your own. thats the most important. if you are a good person, you will be blessed in His eyes. dont let anyone persuade you into a different form of a relationship. its up to you son, to find him.
Find humor. dont take everything too seriously.
Be serious. dont take everything too loosely.
Love others.
Mommy believe that a hero is someone that does what they can with what they have.
you dont have to be a fire fighter, or a lifeguard, or a preacher or a missionary to make a difference. you dont have to save someone or rescue a kitten.
if you have $1.00 give it to someone who needs it...be it a charity or a friend...you are doing the right thing.
if you are the shoulder to which a friend cries on...you are doing the right thing.
do you have a friend who has a cold? take some chicken noodle soup to their house! unless they are vegetarian...then bring them broth of something other than animal. or tomato.
with grilled cheese. its the right thing to do. : ]
when you see a dog running around with a collar...call the number on the license unless they are foaming at the mouth...then dont...because they might have rabies. rabies is NOT the right thing.
comedy is funny....making people laugh is good...unless you are making fun of someone...then its mean and disrespectful and not laughter worthy. comedy is relating...not insulting. remember that. because you're bound to have an awesome sense of humor. : ]
Girls...
girls...
you will like girls...(or boys...)
either way...
open doors. every time (even when you're mad). car doors...restaurant doors...revolving doors...any doors. daddy always opens mums doors.
tell them they are beautiful. NEVER say anothing other than "no way, you look amaazing!" (or some other variation ((with real enthusiasm)) ) when she asks "do i look fat in this?" (or some other variation).
also...pick a girl who looks so pretty natural without a lot of makeup...why? because if you marry her...she'll wake up with no make up on...and if you pick a natural one it wont matter :].
and rub her feet or her back sometimes...thats nice.
dont say "i love you" unless you mean it...even if she says it first. that word is not one to throw around.
if i were to tell you "dont go to bed angry" you wouldnt follow it. why? because when you are really angry...sometimes you sleep angry. but ALWAYS say "i love you" before bed...even if you dont say anything else. because you're angry.
when you have plans...KEEP them!!! unless there is an emergency. even if you decide to leave early...you never know when you'll regret not going. but it will always be worth it to hang out with someone you care about.
dont touch alligators...or crocodiles.
they bite hard.
dont do drugs...
they are BAD!!! there is a reason mommy and daddy dont do them...
they make you crazy...make you lose your family...make you spend all your monies...and leave your friends.
i'fll always be honest with you about the experience i've had. if i can save you from them....there is no reason not to.
i love you too much to have you hurt like i did.
work hard at school.
work hard at work.
dont borrow money you cant pay back.
dont be afraid to ask for help.
dont get a credit card you cant pay for...it will ruin your credit.
baking isnt a girly thing...: ] boys can bake too.
if you like boys...tell me and dad.. we love YOU and we will embrace the lifestyle you embrace.
unless the lifestyle involves the drugs...refer to the life lesson about drugs from above. in short...DONT DO THEM.
if you like girls...tell mum and dad. we have a lot to talk to you about.
: ]
daddy always respects me. and you should always respect the ladies.
do NOT ever...ever hit a lady. dont throw things at a lady.
dont hurt a lady.
tell the truth.
the truth is very important.
(unless your gf asks if she looks fat and she actually does. in that case refer to previous life lesson about gf insecurity questions.)
help old ladies.
if they are at the grocery store...ask if they need help out.
if they are crossing the street, offer a helping hand.
old men too...dont be sexist now. : ]
dont kiss on the first date.
respect the ladies. : ]
DO stay up talking until all hours.. (not on school slash work nights).
no spending the night....!
dont lie to your mum and dad.
and we wont lie to you : ] well...truth be told we wont lie anyway.
but still. be honest.
save your monies.
there will be times you really want something, and will have no monies unless you save.
its important to have back up monies.
either for to take a girl on a date.
or to put gas in the car.
or to buy guitar hero because its awesome.
or for other important things like bills.
these days you were born into are kind of hard on the monies, but we are going to work hard to have savings to always make sure you have what you need.
hmmm... the sex julian...do it safely. and you can talk to us about it at any time.
we want you to be safe. always. in every way.
which brings up a good point in my mind.
the drinking.
DO NOT get in a car with someone who has been drinking at ALL. One beer...2 beers. only no beers or no drinks. y'hear?
Mummy has had some pain and some loss in her life.
Mum had a friend. his name was Shane. he was a good friend to her, and he got in a car with someone who was not responsible. and the man drove fast, and they got in an accident.
Shane didnt make it.
her friend Jesse. he was a good man. he jumped in a river with no life jacket when the water was going, and he didnt make it across like he though.
her friend Andy. he took a pain pill that wasnt his..and he didnt make it.
these things are risky.
i never want to lose you.
be safe. make smart choices, son.
and show your friends smart choices.
i never want you to feel the pain of losing a friend.
but if you do? we will be here for you.
all the time never not.
there isnt a force in this earthly world that could keep me from you.
or daddy. he loves you so much.
if you ever have any questions, we will do our best to answer them.
sometimes mom and dad will fight.
it will NEVER be your fault.
and it will NEVER stop us from loving you.
remember that.
Dont take candy from strangers.
unless you are buying candy from a store.
so...i guess dont take candy from people who arent in a store selling candy legitimately.
tell people you love that you love them. all the time.
sing with reckless abandon.
sometimes...care what other people think.
but most of the time...dont.
you'll know when for each. : ]
be a good friend.
(ask daddy about calling you carpet :] if he remembers...he will laugh).
anyhow. be a good friend. invite your friends for dinner. or for a movie.
dont let them drink and drive. or ride with drinky.
dont be mean to animals.
they can be mean back.
(side note: daddy: its like a jewish birthday party!!!....what do i cover the floor with!?
been there for a long time you say?!....you dont get no sugar free!)
dont sneak out.
you'll cause me grief.
and while im a cool mom now...
when im older it might cause me to give you grief.
for your benefit: keep me being a cool mom.
heather is your aunt.
she is fun and funny and loves you probably more than any other child in the world.
dont call her not funny. she will be mad. and you might not be her favorite for a week.
just so you know.
heather says she will take you to rugby games. in portland.
listen to your aunt. all 7 of them. unless they are being stupid.
heather just said she is going to dress you up like a girl.
THAT is a good example of when NOT to listen to your aunt.
unless that floats your boat.
in that case. be honest with me and boat float away son.
stay up late sometimes.
go to bed early sometimes.
nap sometimes.
watch Nick @ Nite sometimes.
Know when to say No.
Know which know is which.
which which is which.
and which their or there or they're is which.
its hard sometimes.
you'll get the hang of it.
its easier to warm yourself up than cool yourself down.
and PG&E is expensive. keep that in mind.
you have very close family.
but a LOT of them. why? because our families were broken before we had you (you made them fixed actually).
we'll help you try and remember each one. i was going to explain them...but my fingers are tired already.
dont run with scissors.
or knives.
know right from wrong.
and right from left.
and write from speak.
and wright from right from write.
and know where the RiteAid is or any other 24 hour pharmacy near you. just in case.,
and as aunt heather points out. also know what the right aid is. this is a time to listen to aunt heather.
she also says dont get aids. refer to safe sex life lesson and life lesson about askign mom and dad questions.
return phone calls.
return text messages.
return emails.
return whatever other communication technology comes out after your ole mum writes this.
always RSVP. sometimes people get so lazy they dont even do that. its easy. communicate back and say YES or NO.
refer to life lesson about Know from No. y'know?
eat when you're hungry.
drink when you're thirsty
stop when you're full.
so you're not obese.
oooh be nice to those that are of the overweight persuasion...refer to life lesson about ladies asking about their weight.
be friendly until people give you a reason to not be friendly..and then be friendly but be friendly to people who accept your friendliness.
jokes are funny.
unless they involve racism.
sexism.
plagiarism.
prisms.
prisons.
know your audience.
keep american sliced cheese at your house for aunt heather.
love water.
it loves you back.
know when to start. and when to stop. in all situations.
especially driving. for safety reasons.
make good choices.
refer to all these life lessons for clarification.
dont play with fire.
dont smoke.
dont catch on fire.
stop drop and roll if you do.
in that order.
dont eat sweets all the time.
but sometimes its okay.
be nice to your brothers and sisters when they come.
matter of fact.
im grounding you preemptively to deter you from picking on them.
no television for a week.
you'll thank me when you're older.,
:]
be a good example.
be positive. negativity is negative.
dont hit. unless its one of those carnival games that has you hitting the bell for a prize. then hit hard. and win. but if you dont win its okay. we love you anyway.
but dont hit.
especially a lady. like stated above.
defend yourself. there is a difference.
and play rugby. you can then charge people and have it be okay. : ]
dont tattle but know when to tell on someone.
your aunt can be a bully. like stated previously. be a good example.
she will learn eventually.
dont laugh at others misfortunes.
do laugh at their fortune cookies.
dont call people names.
unless its a cool nickname.
like Laser. or Monty.
or Big Eddie. (s'long as Eddie doesnt mind being called Big Eddie...you'll know inside your heart).
Aunt Heather will call you Rusty.
thats okay.
it means she likes you.
You have the coolest name in the world.
FYI.
your family will watch out for creepers. and you should watch out for creepers. and watch out for other creepers from other people.
you WILL be embarassed at your sporting events...ballet recitals...or other extracurricular activity of your choice.
you will always be able to pick out aunt heather, mums and dads voices from a crowd.
you will get used to it. people wont know we are talking about you though. because we will make up some embarassing nickname. quite possibly not just for you, but also your friends.
these nicknames may not be logical. they may be countries, former presidents, or other nouns.
they will also probably change on a moments notice.
you will always be able to relate to Uncle "Ireland" if you feel too embarassed.
you are a good kid, bub. stay a good kid.
for now, im going to cuddle you and make sure you get good sleeps tonight.
i love you little Chaba.
:mummy:
