sing mahmee

those words are precious.

as i lay you down in your big boy bed, to try it once more, you cried. so i sat there in the dark by your bed and sang. when i thought you were asleep minutes later i stopped, only to hear you stir and say "sing, mahmee." so so quietly.

your love completes me and overwhelms me.

im so so in love with being your mahmee.

i love you Julian.

just some randoms from 13-24 months.

lounging.
oh this is one of my favorite pictures. i know its not nice that you are crying, but you are beautiful.
can i just say, you LOVE headbands almost as much as you love glasses.
Carseat laughter.
the one there was at subway, you thought you saw zack and cody because one of the teenagers there had longer hair. so cute.
you and your daddy are super close. i love seeing you guys together.
this one makes me laugh.
we love to play in glasses.

my beautiful handsome little manlet.
beach and such.



oh were you mad i took away your golf ball. "we dont throw hard balls judebug"

TWO BEBOFACE!




bASEBALL AT Lilahs

anger at sushi.
kissy at Keemys.

guess what baby?

the best part of me is you.

everything, who i am when im with you is the best me.

i love being your mother.

i was thinking today, no matter what happens with anything, with anybody, there isnt any way i will be unhappy, because i have you.

everything is for you.

i love you.

and i dont deserve you.

you're precious to me, and im so grateful that i can see God's love for me, in the simple fact that he entrusted me with you.

and im going to spend my days earning what he readily gave me.

God is good baby.

you are perfect for me, soul mate : )

i swaddled you yesterday bubba. just for fun. to cuddle you like when you were a baby. and you fell right to sleep. it made me happy. i love still feeling like you are my baby boy, even if you have a mind and a world of your own. i love you bootdoo!
just love these photos. how happy you were at 1 week old. by the way, i do not believe that baby smiles are gas smiles. i believe babies feel happiness and i believe that for some cases, smiles are an automatic response to happiness and not something a person tries to do. therefore a smile is innate right?
you and your daddy are boys boys:] you guys will be very close in the coming years i just know it.
your eyes and your smile make me soar!
hi love.
i am so glad i cant ever shake these moments from my noggin.
ha you are my reason love!

i think about you so much.

it seems like sometimes when you wake up from a nap you look much older than when i put you down for that nap. and that makes me sad and happy. i know that no matter how old you get you will always love me and vice versa. i truly believe that we have something good, you and me and daddy. see we care so much for you, we are doing everything just for you. and daddy is doing a great job taking care of mommy and vice versa until we figure things out. i love you. and i do love daddy and we will be okay.

today you went with Grandma Kitty and Auntie Ayla to the World Beat and watched the parade while mommy caught up on sleep from her first week of school. then we went to Portland and visited with Mr Bryan and Ms Caitlin and miss delilah. Lilah is one year older than you. they had a party for their new house and we visited. you got a bit stressed out and threw her toys and screamed a little but then Mr Bryan came to play with you and you had fun :] they are good friends of mommy's. and they sure do love you.

you played ball and you have such a good arm!

then we stopped in to see NaNa and PaPa and you played with all the balls and elmo! they are so fond of you. :] they have taken very good care of mommy. thats why your middle name is russell. nana's and papa's last name is russell. :]

then we went and fed ourselves with subway :] and you ate all your sammich after having boycotted food all day :]

anyhow, then we fed Penny and Indy and went home where we cuddled with Zack and Cody until night night time.

im going to bust my butt in school buddy. this is for you, for us, for our life.

i love you and i want you to know we work hard for everything. when you go to school, then high school, then hopefully college...do it in your way, but do it well baby.

we are trusting god that he brings the money together. this is a hard time love, but we are going to make it work.

mommy wants this for us very badly, and we might be living with a roommate for a little while or something but i will always keep you safe lovely.

no one will come near us that is unsafe and we will have family and daddy around all the time.

they say it takes a village to raise a child. and you have the best most loving village.

tomorrow we are going to the beach to see Uncle Chad and mommys mother, grandma K.

Milestones!

baby boy.
you are 17 months old in 2 days.

and today you went to the bathroom on your potty!

and to be a proud mom for a moment, you went #1 right after a nap in the potty and #2 later on in the day!

you are so so big and so so proud! you dont understand the concept i dont think, but you do know what sound it makes and that its a good thing!

baby boy you are doing so well. just such a fast learner and so wonderful.

teething is being horrible to you. you need mommy and daddy in the night. and have a rough time.

we'll get through this baby!

you said shane, jesse and andy today. so so so perfect. you are so wonderful and they would all be proud. ill tell you more about them one day.

m working so hard on going to school. im working on it babe. sometimes its easy to just st on the couch and just rest and not do anything.
but m going out there. hope you do the same in anything that you know is right, even if it snt always easy love.

i love you more than ANYTHING and want you to always be happy.
would love for you to have a college education and go get a job doing something good and secure. but if what will make you truly happy and safe and in love with life is something different, then do it. as long as you are doing good things and helping people and not hurting others i will always support you. you can do whatever you want. and if you want it bad enough, you will do it.

its been 3 days without a cigarette.
and i watched biggest loser finale tonight.

baby boy, my sweet Judebug, my sunshine, my baby bear, Julian,
im going to be healthy for you.
im going to do whatever i can to make sure i can be there for you always.

you are my world Julian, and i wll do WHATEVER i can to make sure i am always here with you.
nothing can keep me from you babe, you are my sweet, and i would give it all for you.

everything i do now, school, life, love, every breath i take and every thought i have is with you in mind.

cant say t enough and it wll never explain it completely; but you are my SOUL mate :]
and kimmis computer has a broken "i" key, i promise i dont spell badly :]

love you bootdoo!

my handsome...

its 2010.
holy moly.

2009 was THE BEST year of my life.

now while 2008 was the year that mom and daddy decided to have you and we finally met you, growing with you in 2009 was so much to me. it would definitely be accurate to say that each year i'm with you is the BEST year. we love you SO much.

we are very excited to have you growing and getting smarter. daddy and i talked last night about when we wanted to make you a big brother, and when we wanted to get married.
while there aren't any specific dates, we have decided that next year in 2011 we will try to make you a little baby brother or sister. and one day we will get married. but marrying daddy wont change what we already have.
our life is so perfect.
i can hardly wait to expand our little family.

daddy and i are thinking of what to do with our lives. we want careers. we want jobs that will stay with us and keep our family happy and safe.

what should mommy and daddy do?

EMT? Writer? Photographer? Teacher? DayCare? Juvenile corrections?

i don't know sweets, but i am going to make you proud. both of us are. you are the number one thing in our lives : ]

mommy and daddy and nanny are going to be looking for a new house. with 2 bedrooms and a basement for nanny so she can have her own studio apartment. or a nice huge downtown apartment.

one day we'll have a big house. with big rooms, big porches to keep you safe, and a big dog. i'm feeling complete and content love, but am so anxious for all the things we will experience with you!

you have another ear infection bubbas. but you are loving cuddles. its strange, when you feel icky you dont sleep well. doctor says that your ears are puffy and causing pain when you lay down, so youve been falling asleep sitting up. you've been skipping naps, and when you are sleeping, you crawl around in your sleep whimpering. we let you sleep with us since you are sick, and i worry you'll crawl right off the bed...its happened you silly boy.
you are cuddled next to me as i type this. you are so precious to me.

you arent venturing out more in the walking department. your first steps happened on 12.20.2009 and you dont try much. it'll come. im not worried. its not that you CANT its just that you dont WANT to. :]

you LOVE to play "containers". today i put a whole bevy of mixing bowls on the floor for you and got out your toy balls and you just had so much fun putting the toys into the bowls. so smart!

yesterday i taught you that Monkeys say Oo Oo Oo Ah Ah Ah and when i tell you to do it you say ah ah ah ah. its SO cute.

you clap when people on tv clap, you are great at raising your arms for touchdown, especially when daddy freaks out at the tv about touchdowns.
you still do "singing" where when we say "singing" you sing! Ya ya Ya ya Ya ya. :] makes me happy. you are musical! you dance to everything! and you love to bang on dishes and bowls. you have drumstick mixing spoons someone bought for christmas with drumstick handles, and you have mommys rhythm! did you know i can play the drums/ i taught myself, and maybe when you're older we will see what musical instruments you like to play. you LOVE daddy's guitars and you LOVE playing the plano that momma has.

how wonderful it is to know you love music, the thing that brought mommy and daddy together!

goodness i am so lucky to have you here honey.

one of the pictures i will upload here in a bit is of the quilt momma's momma
i so much wanted your baby clothes and a blanket made into a quilt for me, so i could always have you with me. and its PERFECT. your blankets are the pieces on the outside and Gramma picked 4 of the onesies that you wore to put on the front. one says i love mommy and one says i love daddy. i LOVE my blanket.
and cuddles under it with you are the best! specially when you are sick, its nice to cuddles with you under our blankie.

handsome boy, im so excited for a year of wonderful things. how blessed we all out to have our family!

oh my...

we are praying for Emily that she recovers completely and has no more issues.

so so thankful for the medical world that we live in!

she is a beautiful beautiful little girl.

http://breezymama.com/2009/10/05/your-daughter-has-cancer-oncologist/

http://breezymama.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/10/em-playroom-300x225.jpg

a couple of recalls.

A voluntary recall of several infant and children's Tylenol has been announced by the drug company, McNeil Consumer Healthcare. Twenty-one Tylenol products had been identified, due to possible contamination of one of the inactive ingredients used for making the drug. The recall was issued on September 18, 2009, for products manufactured between April 2008 and June 2008.

Examination of bulk raw material found the ingredient did not meet their internal testing requirements. The gram-negative bacteria Burkholderia cepacia (B. cepacia) was detected. No bacteria has been detected in finished products, but the recall was issued as a precaution.

Target voluntarily recalled a Halloween 3-pack of children’s mini flashlights after Mitch Lipka, a Wallet Pop writer, placed batteries in a flashlight his child brought home from a birthday party, noticed a sizzling sound and then witnessed the flashlight melt. He purchased another package of the flashlights to test and found that another sizzled and melted.

Lipka contacted the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission (CPSC), Target and the importer, Devrian Global Industries. Target was quick to pull the product from the shelves and offer a full refund to consumers if they return the item. Lipka said it was refreshing to see a company take such quick action, acting before the CPSC had investigated or ordered any recall. Scott Wolfson, a spokesperson for the CPSC, encouraged those who experience problems with a product to file a complaint with the CPSC and retain the product for CPSC examination.

keep your eyes peeled, and lets keep our kids safe.

teething...hell!

so...your two first teeth were painless...at least we thought. you rarely cried and you just liked to bite everything.

well the teething fairies have brought you more...6 more...at the same time. when all is said and done you'll have 4 top and 4 bottom teeth. you are taking this pretty hard. screaming, not wanting to eat milk. crying and only wanting mommy and daddy.

we've had our fair share of arguments and im sure that doesnt help...but there are some things to aid in relief.

right now a steady 4 hour drip of tylenol along with Hylands teething Tablets. you like em. you stop crying long enough to take them and then you cuddle.

bananas. or the beech nut veggies. i put a jar in the fridge to make it cold and it helps you eat. i cant figure out how to make you want breast milk or a bottle...i think the sucking hurts your poor mouth.

i had to call into work to stay home with you yesterday and today. and no doctor is open on the weekends. i know its your teeth and it hurts to not be able to fix it.

a lifetime movie plays on tv, im too lazy to get up and change it. : ]

you are way into pots and pans drums! so musical! right now you are at my feet playing with my shoes moaning....ehhhhhhh....ehhhhhh. still cant crawl right yet, but the zombie body drag does its job for ya. we are working on that lower body to help with walking and standing. you love to stand on the side of the couch. its hard to look at baby milestones and not compare you...but you didnt even roll til your 5th month!

you are showing your true personality.

you laugh at cameras pointing at you.

you love to drag yourself to the couch and then get out ANYTHING underneath it.

you like to stand along the couch. or sit on your knees in your crib.

you LOVE the kitties. and you try and say the word all the time. closest youve come is DEEDEE or Hitty. but its a work in progress. you say mama and dada. and are good at sticking with just Mom and Dad. you've even said daddy a couple times.

you watch Law and Order with Nanny every workday.

and whenever we play the theme song or you hear the GungGung you whip your head around.

you are such a big guy.

we've had a lot of concerned parents talk to us about the teething...from frozen washcloths to frozen waffles...cold bagels to alternating motrin and tylenol. its hard to find what will work best for you.

i dont know what i would do without you : ]

you are wonderful baby boy.

9 months now.

you are really a ham.

randoms from your first 6 months. :)