i did it!

i miss my boy!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_profilepage&v=aEDev-mbfGY

nights like this...

its 330 am.

and i MISS YOU.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iNPmFcGQsZE&feature=player_profilepage

im watching this video of you seeing the blazer things.

last night you were sick. and woke up a few times, other times moaning in your sleep.

i miss you, and it hurts me.

last night i got the pleasure of rocking you to sleep and singing to you.

you're amazing and i miss you baby.

i only wish you could know.

blayzoos

we saw the blazers last night with daddy, ayla, stephy, dan, grandpa backer, grandma kitty, uncle, jus, justin, april, juliet, angela, heather and some more friends. having so much love around you was wonderful. you are so sweet and precious and you love watching it. hearing you say "defense!" and "lets go blazers!" and "go brandon!" that was wonderful! you are even getting better at saying Przybilla, which is mommy's favorite player who is currently on the injured list :(

im so glad daddy and i get to share this common favorite pasttime with you. to have us all love the blazers makes it such a fun family time! and i love it.

im so proud of you. as i write this you are napping and daddy is off to get you a real basketball hoop. i hope he can find one! you are getting so good and playing better than most kids twice your age or more!

mommy is gonna go work out soon. im gonna make you as proud of me as i am of you. youre beautiful.

youre my knight in shining armor, my light, the sunshine of my life, my soul mate.

you're my son.

thats such a powerful thing to say.

i love you sonshine :]

You're beautiful. After 4 days without you I'm coming to you and holding you is phenomenal. Ill nevber get used to seeing you half the time. You're precious to me.

You're amazing and I love you.

Thank you for being my son.

something of daddy!

this is love. your daddy is so proud of you.

and so is your mahmee.

i just want to remind you.

every single day i get with you is a blessing.

every day that i know you are smiling, bretahing, loving, living is pure joy to my heart.

i love nothing more than you son. :]

you're my life and my soul.

and you are so freakin perfect.

Babe boy

You're amazing and I miss you.
Last night we went to miss caitlin and mr bryans rehearsal for the wedding mommy and daddy are in.

You were so good and I love spending extra time with you. You're fabulous.

I wish you were home. Last night I sat down and realized I was without you. And it made my heart hurt.

I watched a tv show where the teenage boy got mad at his mom and yelled at her. Made me sad. I want you to know I never wanna hurt you or make you mad at me. Can you just stay 21 months old and I stay 23 and we stay soul mates and bffs forever?

Love you jude-ith.

you need me...

you were born to hanson, iill start by saying.

it was watch over me, by hanson. and now its your lullabye of choice :]

tonight you needed a song, you needed cuddles and, on this rare occasion, you needed me there with you for a bit before you fell asleep.

so i got to sing my baby boy to sleep.

so you got two songs, the first repeated a few times:

"Watch Over Me"

She wakes and takes her place in line
And never bothers to ask why the mirror sheds no light at all
The days turn into lesser days until there's only night
The light it wouldn't help she's too far gone

Her time is up it's five o'clock
It never stops

And she says please, and she says please
And she says please, watch over me

I watch her slowly make her way
Down on a road she shouldn't take
She always ends where she began

The years go by, they're adding up
She clicks her heels but she's still stuck
She's giving in but won't give up she'll never stop

And she says please, and she says please
And she says please, watch over me
And she says please, and she is,
On her knees and she begs and she pleads

Na na na na na na na na na
Na na na na na na na na na
Na na na na na na na na na
Na na na na na na na na na

She counts the time 'til her heart breaks
Just waiting for her next mistake

And I said please, and she says please
And she says please, watch over me

On her knees and she begs and she pleads she says
Please, and she says please and she says please watch over me

She counts the time 'til her heart breaks
Just waiting for her next mistake
Don't give up i know you've stopped believing
And you're down and you're begging you're pleading
Don't give up cause you're not too far gone

i change it to "and he says please"...

its like i will always be there to watch over you :]

the other is a song called "comfort you" by my friends band.

ill find those lyrics for you one day :]

i love you.

i can hardly wait to cuddle with you.

youre fabulous.

Baby.

I have never loved anyone or anything more than I love you.

I'm sitting in the front seat as you sleep in back and I'm just reveling in being your mother.

This feeling should bring the world some peace. I wish wish everyone felt it so they would soften up. But for now, I love it being almost a secret feeling between you and me and you and daddy.

Todays family day at the pumpkin patch made my heart soar. I love you babe boy.

Clifton took this photo.

:]

you love them and they love you...how wonderful!

just love you.

and posted this as my recent profile picture on fb.

i love this. this is us baby.

Night With RoseBud.

i love this. you have such a love / dislike relationship with her lol.
but you cuddled and it was sweet.
this lasted for about 45 seconds. glad i managed pictures before it ended :] you two are super cute together. April and I were talking and she mentioned that someone told her kids your age dont play together, they play individually around each other. but you guys really interact and we know you play together.

you even locked her in the bathroom today and we had to make you say sorry.

you're not used to constant other baby company though and when i gave her milk first you got mad and cried. but i explained to you, we let ladies go first, even if it just means getting their drink first. :]

you're gonna be such a beautiful handsome grown up man!

love you so much boo bear.

just some pictures. :]

hi handsome.
watching se-same street.
buggles.

you let me swaddle you like a baby.
i love you boot.
before bathtime.
i LOVE this.
so freakin handsome.
:]
another fave.

today i woke up to you. came to daddys last night but felt so sick i went to sleep before you even.

i woke up and i was so happy you were here with me :] or rather, that i was here with you.

im amazed at you. you're learning so much. when i ask you what a cow says you say "moo moo!" when i ask you wat a dog says you say woof woof! when i ask what a bear says you saw grrrrrr. you are so smart.

today you sang me your WHOLE ABCs with very little help! you are amazing!

you also use sentences now.

21 months old walking around saying "its yummy milk" and "donnie's sleeping"

im blown away by you!

i have started my job at comcast and am trying really hard! i love you and just want to build such a good life for you. there are a lot of options out there for me and you, and im working for all of them.

you and daddy and i pulled tomatoes out of the garden! yummy!

(when youre like 18 and you read this, the baby talk will get annoying and for that, im sorry. but come on, youre 21 months old right now, so sue me.

today we are going to CJs birthday party :] you LOVE CJ. the whole family of carrie and clifton makes you so happy! i love that you love them. its like you have found another family that loves you. and its amazing.

in a few weeks we are going to blazers opening night. :] i love that we get to have nights like that!

for the next few months while mommy gets used to the new job, things will be tight, but i promise you i will never leave you needing something. we may not have everything that we want all the time, but we will always have things we need.

i love you baby, and we are gonna rock this life.