:)

You're my everything.

I love you more than anything in the world.

Be good to your sister always.

And know that no one could ever be as close to me as my soulmates. :)

I love you son, more than words can say.

Since the beginning of time

You and daddy have laid the same way. :) love my boys.

"You know what i love mahmee?! hey mahmee! you know what i love?"

"what baby?"

"i love you."

"You won't always be the tallest player. You won't always be the quickest player. You won't always be the best shooter, or the best defender, But the one thing you can do to separate yourself is to compete hard and give all your effort. Everything else will fall into place."

this is something that Crash (your favorite blazer) heard from his mommy all the time. 

and i want you to hear it. even if youj dont do basketball for a living (yesterday you told me you wanted to build houses...might just be an angry bird obsession though). 

whatever you do, you may not be the BEST at it, as long as you TRY HARD, PRACTICE, and do YOUR best, you will succeed. LOVE YOU!

:)

Words you read today!

Proud of you my three year old reader! :)

i LOVE this one. you were so awkward and confused :)

the rad cupcakes Aunt Keemy made! Blazer logos and #27 jerseys!

so we chose number 27 to represent you because of your birthday, dec 27th, and also the 27 hours it took you to get to us :)

youre our light.

today Aunt Keemy, Uncle Chad, Aunt Frascha, Auntie Ayla, Daddy and Purple Grandma celebrated your birthday since they didnt get to see you yesterday. and boy did they love ya. :) even uncle seth came to you and brought you a BIG BOX! you love your box. he cut out windows and a door and made you a box fort. and you are just addicted!

im so proud of my three year old. so so proud.

love you Soul Mate.

Birthday Words!

words of love from your friends!

from our trailblazers, a happy birthday from Lamarcus Aldridge, Jamal Crawford, Dante Cunningham all "retweeted" mahmees twitter message, meaning they copied it to all of their fans, letting them know it was your birthday!

More from twitter:

Earl Barron, who plays basketball and has been on the blazers twice said to you:

Happy Birthday buddy and Merry Christmas too.

Nolan Smith said to you directly via your twitter account:

happy birthday

the Blazer Blog, a feed mahmee and daddy follow who keep tabs on the blazers tweeted this to you:

happy birthday & Merry Christmas @toddlerwords

Marcus Camby, one of our favorites tweeted to you too!

happy birthday!

Marla Sokoloff, a pretty lady who is a famous actress, writes:

Happy birthday Jude!

Mr Clifton, our friend in seattle with Cj, Blaec, BayLee, Reagan and Liam sent this:

Happy birthday little man. Hope you have fun tonight!

Your Karimeeah writes:

Im wishing my dear little pal Jude a happy happy 3rd birthday. Karimmeah loves you more than anything

she then posted this picture for you.

Auntie Jessica writes you:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BABY! Three years of being on this earth and you make it a better place every day!

mahmee wrote this on her twitter:

you are my LIFE baby and @slmjbacker daddy & i LOVE you to PIECES! excited to take you to see the@pdxtrailblazers tonight!

mahmees friend Jennifer wrote this and it made me so happy:

Happy 3rd Birthday to the wunnerful parents of Julian Russell Charles Backer. You are amazing parentals and are both such loving people. You inspire me with your kindness and selfless spirits. And how blessed is the rest of the world that you are making another. Enjoy the day Backer Family. Birthday love for all of you. :)

on my facebook account i wrote this at 4:44pm today:

‎3 years and 5 minutes ago he was laid on my chest. Perfect. Beautiful. And I wept. How does one prepare to meet their soulmate? You can't. No number of weeks or months prepares you for the onslaught of emotion I felt at that time. That I feel when he says mahmee. When he kisses or hugs me. I'm the most blessedest woman in the world that he picked me, and that He gave me such a love. So so happy.

at 10:30am i wrote this:

Its 2008. 21 hours before now, labor started. 12 hours before now, my water broke. 6 hours ago, they found pitocin. it would be another 6.5 until I saw his face; 6.5 hours until my previous definition of love would be redefined. I waited. Happy Birthday to my soul mate Julian Russell :) you are my sonShine!

more facebook love from our friends!

Adelle Dinsmore HAPPPYYYYYY BIIIIIRRRRRTTHDDAAAYYYYYY!!!

Bobby Peacock Happy birthday little buddy

Bettina Pfeiffer that is soo sweet... happy birthday from me too!

Jill Lancour Happy birthday Julian!!

Jecca Nasset Happy Birthday Julian!!

Catrina Welty Happy birthday Jude Bug!!! You are so special and loved my friend!!!!

Vera Golikova Happy bday Julian!

Jennifer Leduc :) happy birthday jude

what great words for such a great boy!

im blown away by your love for people and peoples love for you.

i love you sonshine. youre my pride and joy soulmate!

Happiest Birthday.

today...oh today. how do i even find the words.
you're incredible.
i love you. everything about you. here are some of the memories from today. :)

Happiest Birthday.

today...oh today. how do i even find the words.
you're incredible.
i love you. everything about you. here are some of the memories from today. :)

i just LOVE this picture.

all of us walking to the rose garden. we went with people that love you! Donni Mea, Uncle, Karimeeah, Uncle Seth, Daddy and Me.

tired boy, had no nap today. popcorn makes you a happy camper though :)

cute view.

on daddy's shoulders dancin!

mahmee and daddy. :)

daddy had this on the jumbotron for all 20,300 fans to see! everyone could celebrate your birthday!

being silly. you would NOT cuddle me or lemme take good pitchers. silly baby.

mahmee is a bit swollen because of maya...but we are still the cutest family everrrr

maya papaya with mahmee.

DEFENSE!

the rep made a bad call and the crowd was booing. you looked at daddy and said "what was THAT?" and it made me laugh.

between the credit daddy had making our tickets free, and the fact the lockout ended just in time for your birthday AND a home game played ON your birthday...this was completely divine intervention! god is good and we love you boy!

Can hardly wait to see your face!

Every time..

Each time I say "happy birthday julian!" You say "happy birthday!" right back.

Presents!

You got to open some new presents! Mahmee wrote a word on each gift and any word you got right you got to open. All easy of course, and you got them all! I love you!

First birthday treat o the day.

First birthday loving.

Mahmees facebook status today:
*Its 2008. 21 hours before now, labor started. 12 hours before now, my water broke. 6 hours ago, they found pitocin. it would be another 6.5 until I saw his face; 6.5 hours until my previous definition of love would be redefined. I waited. Happy Birthday to my soul mate Julian Russell :) you are my sonShine!*

Loves judybaby!

We were soooo excited

To give this to you. And as predicted, you played with them for hours. Glad we had you open other gifts first! :) happy holiday baby!

I told you sleepy boy...

To go potty. You laid on the floor. You've come a long way since being afraid of the shower :) loves!

Santa?

"Hey mommy...the roof is not a safe place to be."

Keepin me company

Ridin the mahmee horsey while I sprawl on the yoga ball with a hurty back :) thanks babes!

Playiing memory match!

And first game you cleaned house! Kicked my booty! Second game I won...and every time I got a match you exclaimed "yay mahmee you winned!"  I'm so happy you are so excited for me when I win and it shows you will have heart and love and excitement for the success of others. I'm so happy baby. You're incredible. I love you smart baby.

After the second game you got bored and most definitely just looked under all the cards. Its okay. Small doses baby. you're doing great! Loves!

My sonshine!!

I showed you this beautiful boy and said

"You make me so happy." You responded with "I'm so happy at you!! You make me so happy toooooo!"

Often times if I'm upset or you're misbehaving you will say "are you happy at me mahmee?" And it just melts me. Your silly cute phrasing just cuts me and I break.

Baby boy...I'm always happy at you :) happy at you, because of you, for you, with you...everything!

spelling.

Donni Mea, Nonny and I were quizzing with you words and letters to practice reading and spelling. things like "what animals start with A?" and such. we came across two hilarious scenarios.

Mommy: "What words start with 'B'?"
Jude: "Blocks.....Box.....Baby.......Belly.....Books...." then you turn and see me behind you and you say.. "BOOBIES." with the biggest grin ever. LOVE IT.

then Nonny piped in.

Nonny: "Jude, what letter does Pteranadon start with?"
Jude: "the letter 'P'." HAHA! SO smart! much love babes.

Living Room.

such a simple term. but for your cute little lisp, you cant say it.

"lets go to the ringing room mahmee!"

"baby say LIVE ING"
"Ling-ing."
"No baby, LIVING."
"Ring."
"LIVING."
"ringing."
i stuck out my tongue.
"Luh Luh Living."
"Living."
"YES!!!"
"okay lets go to the RingIng Room mahmee!"

sigh.

i love everything about you.
youll get it one day baby.

Talkin in your sleep.

The other night while sleepin you were calling out to me..."daddy!"

I don't even get to be mommy in your sleep! :) silly boy. :)

This was after you cuddled the night with us and we talked about maya and what she would look like. You said she would have blue eyes "like me and mommy" and brown hair "like mommy and daddy" and would have "arms like daddy".
:)

Love this.

You are wunnnnerfullll.

Platypus.

Jude loves his sissy and bought her a purple duck. I found a matching one at a thrift shop and got it for jude so you can match!! :) love my babies.

Kisses from my boy.

Jude takes such good care of his mommy :)

What a blessing...

so a friend recently came into needing childcare, and we volunteered. we can use some extra cash when Maya is born, and i have been SO worried about how youll transition with a new baby. i worry you will forget how much i love you, how incredible you are, and it would break me to know your sister causes heartache or you think my love for you has left.

E is 18 months old and im glad he comes over. daddy was so nice and woke up early with the both of you today, and he said while you did INCREDIBLE wanting to help, he could tell you got a little jealous. im trying SO hard to help you adjust to not being the only one, and i am worried. i think God had another plan for E, and why he came to us.
we happen to be watching him on the days daddy is off. at first i worried, would daddy be stressed? but he has done so well today and i think that this is all happening for a reason. God knows we need a few extra bucks around Mayas arrival, and just like He helped to make Christmas and Hanukkah and your Birthday this month good, and every other thing that has come to place, He WILL take care of us, and E, and E's mommy and daddy.

and this will be good. i was nervous about taking on another challenge with only 9 weeks left...but i think this whole thing will be awesome. getting Mommy and Daddy the chance to see what life is like with more than one beautiful baby.

youve been SUCH a dream, Maya is going to be amazing i just know it...but you are going to play a huge role in that.

this is going to be amazing love.
youre going to love her, and she is going to look up to you.
youll get to protect her and love on her and see her grow and teach her things. im just blown away by all the things God has in store for this.

i love you sonshine.

thank you for being so incredible.
youre my soulmate.

Just so smart. :)

What's your favorite food?

Cereal. All day. Everyday. Cereal.

You have such personality. I'm just smitten to pieces!

My only wish for you...

Is that you grow up and from start to finish you are HAPPY.

I read a letter from a mother to her son, who wasn't happy, and her sadness in that.
Never feel you can't talk to me about something. I don't care what is wrong...I will be here for you...to do anything to give you and keep you happiness.

This picture you drew of you & I.
You said "I have a tiny head." (This is not so baby boy...but you're perfect. )
And you lovingly gave me blue eyes and said my hair was short because "you have a pony!"

You are my happiness, sonshine, and I love you so so so much.
You're incredible to me. And I love you so much.

Be happy baby.
Be happy.

"You have a big big big head daddy!"

commitment.

sometimes mahmee and daddy fight a little bit. 

we try to talk and be respectful and work it out like adults, because we want to show you how people who love each other communicate effectively. 

sometimes we talk a little loud and we should use respectful tones. 

but we love each other. 

and after spending time apart, we dont ever wanna do that again. 

we work hard to let our relationship work. 

and sometimes we get stubborn and have to be brought back down. 

just a couple things i want you to remember:

when you find the person you are supposed to be with...do NOT let them go. 

Never allow someone to call you names, or hurt you with their hands or words. 

i would say dont ever go to bed angry, but sometimes you will. and thats okay. on those days, while youre still angry say "im still VERY mad at you, but i love you. and this can wait until we're ready to talk." if youre too mad yuou cant say it...just say "i love you."

do not EVER use your hands to show anger by hitting the person you love. 

when you love them, love only them. sometimes your mind may wander or you may think thoughts, but if you act on those thoughts you really hurt someones heart. 

Julian, LOVE your wife. Love her like youve never loved another. 

Maya, Respect your husband. love him and show him that he is your world and the head of your life. 

to you both...this does NOT mean lose your independence or your spirit...allow them to be with you in this life. 

Have dates with your loved one from day 1 to day 60,000. Be the old couple seeing movies together, and judebug, always pull out her chair and open her door. My gramma used to give my boppa heck...and he would still open her car door and hold her hand to help her in. 

respect love as a process. if you truly love someone..it doesnt just go away, even if you are no longer together. learn to respect your own growth, and the people that helped you. 

have grocery shopping dates. no one WANTS to grocery shop, but doing it as a date makes it romantic. 

have coffee dates when you have kids. have someone watch the kids for 1 hour while you get coffee...or even 15 minutes while you drive to starbucks....or even waking up at 6am to have a coffee date together before the kids wake up. 

have lazy sundays. Mahmee's favorite days have been sundays that daddy didnt get up early and he stayed in bed cuddling while i slept in. 

do things that make her happy. i love it when daddy makes me coffee before work...and sometimes i leave him notes. 

make dinners. clean up a little extra. rent special movies. have living room sleepovers.

thank them, for doing the things they do....even if they are gonna anyway. "thanks for working today" i tell daddy. "thanks for doing the laundry for me!"

go out for your anniversary...and then some.

keep pictures in your house of just the two of you...and leave the old ones up too. this helps you remember where you came from...and where you are now.

make gingerbread houses together.

eat candy together.

go on jogs and runs together.

rub each others shoulders together.

say i love you...a LOT.

always tell them "its going to be okay." even if you arent sure.

do charity work together, or something that gives back.

cuddle.

play board games together.

pick your battles...and pick them wisely.

dont call each other names...and if they slip...you sure as heck better apologize for them.

find your balance....


mahmee and daddy are gonna cuddle and watch a movie together....ill add more later for you.



we love you both babies.
i pray every day that you both get what daddy and i have.
love you!

:)

Poppa and judebug.

For the soldiers :)

The ones you did, and me too. We love to show our love for wonderful people who protect us. I wish there wasn't a need for them but I'm so thankful to God that we have them. He has made wonderful people to keep us safe. I'm proud f your spirit!

You drew mahmee :)

This makes me so happy and so proud. You drew you and I and then me. And its beautiful. Your first pictures of people! I'm so proud of you!

Love

Sushi date with daddy hedder and mahmee

You are awesome :) don't worry, mahhmee only gave you things good for your health :)

hearts.

"Hey mahmee...orca and ocean both start with O! What else starts with O?"
"Um. Octopus!"
"Yeah! Hey mahmee! What else?"
"Owl!"
"What else?"
"Orangutan."
"What else?
"Orange."
"What else?"
Pause. Silence.
"Osteoporosis."
"Oh.....hey mahmee what eats the jellyfish?"

Hanging with "uncle seff"

We got to spend some good time with uncle seth today.

He kept saying how wonderful a kid you are and I'm not surprised. We all love you babe. Thanks for being my date while daddy went out with his buddy!

"Mahmee can we take a picture?"

I just love you

So much. You are so beautiful to me. I see more of me in you now. And that smile where youh smile with your eyes too? Oh it melts my mahmee heart. You're my biggest accomplishment yet. Love you :)

Tonight you laid in bed for an hour a bit scared. So we let you climb in bed with us for the night :)
I'm so blessed!

Daddy and I thank Him for you every night and day baby boy. Its unbelievable that you are ours :)

Night soul mate.

Isn't daddy handsome?

Andy Grammer "head up" song.

"Gotta keep your head up, head up
But you can let your hair down, hair down
I know its hard, know its hard to remember sometimes,
But you gotta keep your head up oh ohhh but you can let your hair down ayyyyy.

We love to sing this song.
And the last time it came on in the car while we were driving you stopped singing and said "mahmee, this is our song?" It moved me. When mama gets sad, I'm going to remember to keep my head up for you baby.

Love you!!

"Imma burrito mahmee!"