Holy smokes I am in love!

I love you goons SO much.

My sonshine and my roo moon. :)

Every night.

"I love you."

"I love you too."

"I love you more."

"I love you most."

"Just like tangled?"

"Yeah!"

:)

Loves!

Brother.

Mahmee: hey jude, do you like having maya here? Should we keep her forever?
*head nod*
Mahmee: hey jude, do you like having a sister or do you want a brother also?
Jude: I like having THAT sister. I like having my maya.

*mahmees heart melts.*

:) jason mraz.

You came to me wearing this hat and with your guitar in hand and you asked "who do I look like mahmee?!" And then started singing "I'm yours." You're so precious to me. :)

Jude: I like it when me and maya be together.

I like it too buddy.

Love.

You both make mahmee and daddy so happy.

Breastfeeding Maya

So today you saw mahmee pumping milk for maya. Maya has the same problem with her tongue like you did, and i have to use the machine to get the milk to come. 

here are some of the conversations we had while i pumped. 

you see the pump going and my swollen nips. 

"mahmee, are those your fingers?"

"no baby those are my nipples."

"oh. your nimples. so those nimples are for your boobies?"

"yep."

"oh. ok. hey mahmee. so you put your boobies in there and then the milk comes out?"

"Yes they do. very good buddy."

when the milk comes i have to switch to bags because i have more than the bottles needed. 

you said "can i put the milk in the freezer for you?"

"i can do it honey thank you."

"no, can i please put it in the freezeR?" i give in. 

"do you know where to put it?"

"yeah, with all the other booby milk in the freezer."

TOUCHE!

gotta say, im proud of you for knowing the ins and outs and asking questions son!

:)

After mommy and maya went to see a lady about breastfeeding and you and daddy had a "boys picnic" of sammiches, chocolate pudding, chocolate milk a nd carrots, daddy then took a reest time with maya and you and I played candyland and matching game! So incredible to spend time learning you. You love maya so much and are so tender but you keep mentioning "I wanna be julian, not a big brother" and we know you are a good big brother without us saying. You're the best julian ever. And I'm proud of you!

Jude vs Maya Maya edition

Jude Vs Maya Jude Edition

:)

entry i found from when you were born.

this is what i posted on a social networking site :)

Julian Russell Charles Backer.

it is completely incredible. i have never felt so alive. so amazed. so blessed. so in love. in response to all of the inquiries as to how we are doing?we are sleepy, sore (unbelievably sore), at home, frazzled and learning. we haven't managed to clean, organize or go grocery shopping (thanks to my sissers for much needed essentials and such). we are getting used to midnight beckonings. we havent figured out how to sleep when he sleeps. im scared of hurting his nethers when changing him. and Jamie is still learning positioning for burping and changing and loving and sleeping. he is such a natural. immediately it was about caring for his son, and he is phenomenal. I am learning. and trying. i appreciate the million visitors at the hospital (i apologize for being doped up...but....the whole thing hurt man).thank you guys for your support and love. we appreciate and love you for it!oh yes...one more thing. i have never experienced a happiness or love like this. it is completely incredible. completely incredible. i thank the lord for this.

Love you :)

Angry birds.

Your favorite game. You use your finger as a slingshot to fling birds towards objects to break them down.
You would sit and play this for hours if we let you.
I'm not thrilled you found a game you like so much so young.
But my favorite part is when you need help. You'll crawl up next to me and ask for help (sometimes a bit too emotional) and we'll play together.

The other day you and daddy were playing and daddy asked "who taught you about the golden eggs?" (Secret things you have to try and get in each level) you replied. "I showed me about them golden eggs daddy."
You're so smart and I'm blown away by you.

Last night we read with you on the computer, letting you pick animals to learn about and asking you to sound out the word to type out the letters on google. You picked frogs, kangaroos, skunks and dogs. Its so fun to hear your commentary.
You're my greatest achievement so far son. Its only going to get better! I imagine you in 3 years sitting next to maya and teaching her about things. :) and that image makes me happy. Love you booger!

Babies...

Today daddy and I slept in after a long night up late hanging out. We rested and cuddled and laughed and just enjoyed our company with our jude while our moon slept away in my tummy.
Then he needed to run some errands. Daddy left mahmee at home to rest and cuddle with jude. He got groceries and stuff for dinner while surprsing me with my favorite drink! He mailed off letters and rent and took care of some things for us. He came back with a little surprise for me, a sweet necklace just because.

Jude, when you find someone youh love, be exactly what daddy is for her.

Maya, when you get big, accept no less than a man as wonderful as daddy.

:)

We sure love each other :)

Soon baby :)

Mahmee posted this for her friends to see

"How blessed I am that my soul is complete and my heart full every day. I'm blown away."

Not much is cuter than...

When you say buhcayno instead of volcano :)

You're so cute!

If you think..

That I will EVER tire of looking at this sweet face, you've got another thing coming.

You're so beautiful to me. Rest up sicky boy.

Beautiful.

Whenever I tell youh that you're beautiful its always the same answer:
"Mahmee, boys aren't beautiful. They're handsome."
Today I responded with: "then who is beautiful?" And you replied "you are!"

Such a sweet boy on such a needed day.
Mahmee is swollen and pregnant and waddly and you think I'm beautiful.
You are my soulmate! :)

Nightnight sweet boy.

"Me and dad"

I'm SO proud!

Lucy.

Aunt keemy and our friend kansas got a little purple firefly for mayas party. You fell kinda in love with it. And you named her Lucy. I don't know where you heard that name, but you love it and you love her.

I love it.
I call you and maya my fireflies, and this is just so special to me!

:)
Lucy is your first pet. And we love seeing you with her :)

Hard day for mahmee.

I am uncomfortable and went to the doctor and was berrrry uncomfortable and sad because maya won't come for awhile and we want her here. I told you I was sad maya is gonna stay for awhile in my tummy. You said "the doctor will help her come out!". So smart!
I said "tell me I'm a good mahmee?" You smiled and said "you're a good mahmee!" Then you continued. "You're the BEST mahmee EVER!" Then came more. "You're the BESTEST BESTEST BESTEST mahmee ever!"

I love you.